MIA

end of year are always terrible when it comes to work. still need to do a lot of updating but so little time.

to do list:
-catamaran trip pictures
-mmh to ducky
-botanica pif
-november pat
-inspire me atcs
-suzy blu registration classes
-trade with malin

i won't let bitterness infuse my writing.

Some times you need to let go.

simple living?

With the incoming holidays, the corporate social responsibility BU of the institution I work at is asking for donations in money/used clothings/toys. I did some cleaning and well if I could, I would have given away a suitcase offull clothes, some still with tags. In fact I DO have a suitcase full of clothes that no longer fit or what not but I've no clue where it is so I went though my current wardrobe. This made me realize how much I buy on impulse and am far too materialistic. When I was in Toronto, I could return any unwanted clothes up to 14 days after purchase for a refund (which I did a lot once my "craving" was satisfied) or wait for sales. here I buy on normal price (sales are not real sales) and no goods are returnable for a store credit/refund *sigh* if I could get 1 dollar for each unworn piece I have, I would have been rich :/ So I get rid of my unwanted excesses by donating to associations. I don't consider it as a "good action" per se since I would have gotten rid of these clothes anyway (to the cleaning lady or someone) and I need to purge my wardrobe! I swear i have enough to wear until I die EXCEPT I have grown fatter AND my taste have changed. Keeping clothes for until I am thin again is not something that helps and i can't sell on ebay (those still with tags on) because paypal does not accept payments from sellers for accounts from my country. Puh!

I need to go back to a simple living but it's hard because my weapon against work stress: I binge whether food, clothes... Lame excuse you'll say and it's true the comfort it provides is rather short term but still better than nothing. My main aim is still to save money but a day without buying something, how small it is, makes me sad. Maybe I need therapy..or a stronger will power? Something that worked for me in the past was to differentiate between what I need and what I want. I should definitely start applying that again even in my eating patterns instead of making myself miserable by skipping a meal then binging at home.

this article from zen habits is not that bad although my current state of mind is too fogged to understand it properly.

WIP to "declutter" list:
-scrap supplies esp alphabets alphas and stuffs I don't use = sell on ebay when I go to canada
-clothes/shoes = give away
-books, sell/give away in mauritius ESP all those self help books I don't read!
-all my crap stored upstairs eg candles, stationeries etc= give away
-etc

"quote of the day:

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage - pleasantly, smilingly, non apologetically - to say 'no' to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside. The enemy of the 'best' is often the 'good.' ~Stephen Covey"

office party

Today i went to buy my clothes for the office party. The theme is black and white with no indications whether it's chic or casual so I am going the casual way; white pants and a long black top. Now my dilemma are the shoes. i am so perfectionist/obsessive that I could make myself sick. I am one of those people for whom everything must be perfect and most of the time I worry myself to death for nothing because in the end this expectation is for me and not the others who're content with whatever you give them. I remember how one day I did not do the calligraphy lettering for my supervisor's card because I felt it was not good enough. In the end someone else did it (more of a scribble) and everyone was content. like what I should lower my own standards. *sigh* i should relax about this party..it's just for fun, it's not like everyone is going to scrutinize me or something. i always feel that everyone else looks great except me..speaking of self confidence eh? puh.

oh well. As I went to Equateur (one of my favorite stores except for the price tag) today, I saw an advertisement for a traveling company. It was so cool. i have to go through an underground way that leads to the other side and they arranged it so that it looked like the entrance of a french metro on one side and on the other, a london one. Inside the underground they had maps of the parisian metro and london ones plus posters of the company with something "making europe closer" It made me so nostalgic to look at the parisian metro map and familiar names like "lena", "l'etoile", "chatelet les halles", etc.. My first glimpse of paris was via the metro and RER. I miss Paris and I am definitely going back. I want to go to the stalls next to Notre Dame and go through the books. Last time I was too shy to do so and bought only a few vintage pin up/ads postcards. Pere la chaise is another must go site-I'm in love with this cemetery and it's victorian feel-, Musee D'orsay and I have to see Marseilles and the site where Marie Antoinette was beheaded. 1 week was too short for me to visit all the museums and sites there. I have so many traveling plans and for now all I can do is dream.