Tuesday, July 13, 2010
lonely?
Lately I've been having random convos with my relatives or bugging some people on msn. I guess I've come to the point where I feel lonely and wish for a two way conversation. hah. I want a dog and guess the way to go is adopt from rescues. it's a shame though how many owners buy dogs and then get rid of them in less than a year or when the dog becomes old.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
do you think
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
secret garden
1. Come into the Secret Garden....EXPLORE 9th OCTOBER 2009 #486, 2. Japanese Garden, 3. kitchen garden, 4. Olbrich Gardens Spring Afternoon, 5. European garden spider, 6. In the Garden, 7. Bordeaux: In the flower garden...., 8. Clean blueness at the Botanic Gardens, Singapore, 9. Sun Flower, 10. Secret Gardens 2004 II, 11. Magical garden, 12. Peony in bloom, 13. White Flower, 14. Dogwood flowers, getting ready to open, 15. Hoverfly on helenium flower * Журчалка на цветке гелениума, 16. Lotus Flower IMGP0689
I have been dreaming in hues of green, red and yellow lately with the smell of freshly turned soil and rain. Each time I go to Streetsville, I walk by by this house with this really lovely garden. Imagine sunflowers, lilies, daisies etc bordering the pedestrian pavement. Then a winding path that goes to the house, partly hidden by trees, more flowers and in between you spot a wooden fawn and a bird feeder. The house is partly covered with ivys and has white windows. There're no fences except the wooden one that face the street made of 4 pieces of wood nailed together and that's it. Often I want to go by this winding path and ask the owner how she/he made this garden. It's definitely a product of love and much effort and sets it apart from other houses. This garden is so inviting and all is missing is a mat to do yoga or read. There's the perfect balance of shade and sunlight. Until I find a place to call my own, I'll dream through pictures on flickr.
It's weird how my soul has been crying for a place to call home since I was at university. I've been working in my visual journal as well. I think I'll start a book of healing in order to fight back my inner demons and fears who whisper in my ears every night.
CONCENTRATE ON BEING THAN HAVING -stephen covey
Saturday, July 3, 2010
lack of job feedback
“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. ”
George Bernard Shaw
George Bernard Shaw
“If we keep doing what we're doing, we're going to keep getting what we're getting.”
I have a new skin to protect my macbook pro keyboard and I must say it feels weird but that's better than not covering it since i'm always getting the keys dirty or there're dangerous spills opportunities. I might remove it when I want to type faster or is not creating. The lack of interview feedback is making me depressed. I am seriously thinking of starting to sell my art and cross fingers since I need some revenue. An acquaintance of mine managed to get a job in a call centre, a few weeks after his arrival. JGuy said that it's because he's a guy. Well guy or not, he has a job even if it's odd hours (from 22:00 to 7:00), and is still getting interviews (he was in sales back in Mauritius and I guess this is a BIG plus because everywhere they ask you to sell here). For me? nada, dead, nil, rien. I had a few relatives who took my CV but it's a dead link. One is literally ignoring my questions for feedback and she's in a call centre in a bank I am interested in. Oh well *shrug* In the mean while I am running out of money.I feel embarrassed each time people ask me about my job quest because it feels like I am not making enough efforts or something is wrong with me. I've changed my resume so many times that I've stopped counting so what's wrong?????
Tomorrow I am going to do step classes. So far I tried bodycombat, bodyattack (high cardio and I love it), zumba, and bodyflow. It's not so bad and I definitely love combat and attack the most because they're high in energy. Zumba is more dance and free flowing but I'm not a latin dance person. At least I've these gym classes to keep me out of the house and think of something else than brood/feel helpless. I am just a little bit lost and has even to force myself to do art. I wonder how it'll be when I retire. I'm someone who always need to know what's up ahead in order to feel peaceful and this time, I see nothing to the point that it's scary. Some people think I am always whining, others think I am lucky because I'm not working, but I doubt they know what it is to live with fear in your stomach, to see time ticking by and not know why nobody wants to hire you. I am trying to be more proactive than reactive but sometimes I can't help thinking that living in the suburbs is killing opportunities for me as well as I did get feedback that I live too far (WTF) despite being only 1 hour-45 mins from downtown Toronto. This is insane.
I saw the silliest reply in the TIMES to the story about a soldier who spent $5000 on his tattoo and the ban of tattoos visibility in the police/military. A doctor was like how this guy should have donated this 5k to charities instead of spending it on a tattoo. I dislike the charity excuse. If you look around you, how many people spend zillions on superfluous things( I bet even that doctor does) than give to people who need it. I do support charity causes but to use charity as an excuse in order to justify your opinion of someone else behaviour sucks. Maybe this doctor, next time he wants to buy a new car or something, should instead give this money to charity huh? Stop the hypocrisy people.
I have a new skin to protect my macbook pro keyboard and I must say it feels weird but that's better than not covering it since i'm always getting the keys dirty or there're dangerous spills opportunities. I might remove it when I want to type faster or is not creating. The lack of interview feedback is making me depressed. I am seriously thinking of starting to sell my art and cross fingers since I need some revenue. An acquaintance of mine managed to get a job in a call centre, a few weeks after his arrival. JGuy said that it's because he's a guy. Well guy or not, he has a job even if it's odd hours (from 22:00 to 7:00), and is still getting interviews (he was in sales back in Mauritius and I guess this is a BIG plus because everywhere they ask you to sell here). For me? nada, dead, nil, rien. I had a few relatives who took my CV but it's a dead link. One is literally ignoring my questions for feedback and she's in a call centre in a bank I am interested in. Oh well *shrug* In the mean while I am running out of money.I feel embarrassed each time people ask me about my job quest because it feels like I am not making enough efforts or something is wrong with me. I've changed my resume so many times that I've stopped counting so what's wrong?????
Tomorrow I am going to do step classes. So far I tried bodycombat, bodyattack (high cardio and I love it), zumba, and bodyflow. It's not so bad and I definitely love combat and attack the most because they're high in energy. Zumba is more dance and free flowing but I'm not a latin dance person. At least I've these gym classes to keep me out of the house and think of something else than brood/feel helpless. I am just a little bit lost and has even to force myself to do art. I wonder how it'll be when I retire. I'm someone who always need to know what's up ahead in order to feel peaceful and this time, I see nothing to the point that it's scary. Some people think I am always whining, others think I am lucky because I'm not working, but I doubt they know what it is to live with fear in your stomach, to see time ticking by and not know why nobody wants to hire you. I am trying to be more proactive than reactive but sometimes I can't help thinking that living in the suburbs is killing opportunities for me as well as I did get feedback that I live too far (WTF) despite being only 1 hour-45 mins from downtown Toronto. This is insane.
I saw the silliest reply in the TIMES to the story about a soldier who spent $5000 on his tattoo and the ban of tattoos visibility in the police/military. A doctor was like how this guy should have donated this 5k to charities instead of spending it on a tattoo. I dislike the charity excuse. If you look around you, how many people spend zillions on superfluous things( I bet even that doctor does) than give to people who need it. I do support charity causes but to use charity as an excuse in order to justify your opinion of someone else behaviour sucks. Maybe this doctor, next time he wants to buy a new car or something, should instead give this money to charity huh? Stop the hypocrisy people.
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