Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Addicted to the scientist by coldplay and modern family. That series is sweet. The simpsons is getting worse :/

I have been MIA and all my photos from china are sitting on my hard drive waiting to be resized and uploaded. I'm such a lazy ass. I've also been feeling under the weather.

We're moving in 15 days and as much as I am excited to have somewhere new to go, it is stressful to be surrounded by boxes and to know that the next room is only for one year or so until we find a house and for how long... Often I want to drop everything and run away: become a gypsy, live day by day although I know I need a certain level of comfort. I would not mind trying back packing though. I need to run away, a break from routine and the daily blablabla of people. Aren't people bored to do only small talks or gossip??

I am getting more stupid day by day and instead of blaming my job, I should try to find ways to keep my brain sharp. One goal is to practice calligraphy again. It helps to destress and keeps my mind busy in a good way. Origami does the same thing but I'm left wondering what to do with all these folded animals. For some reason, I am stressed and shedding hair (as if I could afford that). Today I was thinking how I have no reason to be stressed. I know my job at the tip of my fingers-almost- and I've a job. I get paid and I've a roof.

It's like my ever so perfect me needs to control everything: I am worried when my calls are not perfect, when my manager is not talking to me, when I am not talking to my colleagues in case they think I am rude. sh*t why do I have to be that self conscious and what's MY problem? The world does not evolve around me.Why am I making things harder in my head all the time? I need to grow up and someone to punch me in my face and it's just a job..not even a prestigious one.

JGZ was like how even if I found the meaning of my life, I'll still be like "bleh" so why bother? so why not start living and appreciating everything instead of trying to control and be perfect or meet people's expectation (or my expectation of what they "expect" from me). Sh*t shoot that overworking/thinking brain..

near confucius temple

The joy of a warm cup of ginseng oolong tea..

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