seriously

My brother says I talk too much and tire him. I was telling him about moving and the new internet. He called the provider and said how he'll like to have cable installed. he did not specify when: the company has to call him on the eve or the same day morning to say when they're coming . How stupid is that? So if the company calls and says they're coming in 10 mins? or what if they don't call you until 3 weeks later. My brother is like whether I think these guys are stupid and of course they'll come as soon as they can. Really? You must be kidding me if any company still has this kind of service nowadays where you'll be first come first serve. Not telling them a date means you're not in a hurry plus he did not ask when they're mailing the modem. he assumes it'll be this week. I asked him to call back tomorrow and ask when the modem is being mailed and if they can drop by this week-end or next week between x time. *roll eyes*

Moving is tedious. I spent the week packing when I could and what has him been doing? Playing games during the week-end while I was working. I asked him to move some packages for me as I was not there to do so; I come home to find him in bed with the duvet and playing games on his laptop. He has moved only one suitcase..the whole day. He has things in the basement, has no idea what/where they are and does not even care to look for them. Well that's his own problem. I do have more stuffs than him but I'm not going to do double work..Guys are such morons. He's never in a hurry, waits until the last moment and then the unexpected arise and he needs to scramble around..I swear..I could never live with someone like that. I still wonder what his gf finds in him..Jeezzz

time

why do i feel that time is slipping through my fingers?? like there is no time to breathe, stop and smell the flowers? like i am not grasping anything

the woes of moving

Moving is proving itself to be tedious and expensive :/ So far I am 70% done. Moving out made me realize how much junk I have and I'll spend the incoming week-end putting some order in my stuffs and this wednesday will be a tiring day for moving around things. I was planning to go to ikea and buy a vika desk for 59 cnd and two 2x2 expedit bookcases/39 each. In the end I am getting the expedit desk 70 cnd with one 2x2 case 39 cnd, and get an old book case from my aunt. I'll just have to repaint it. My desk will look like the one below in dark brown and with 4 cubes space:

I am going to paste a cavaledi (spelling?) vintage map on the desk, cover it with shellac to spice up the look of the desk. Ikeahack is definitely a great place to feel inspired as well as design sponge. I can't wait to get started on this project. I'll buy a chair and mattress later as it'll be too expensive to buy everything at once. I'll borrow my cousins futon to sleep on. Another idea stuck in my head is to make a patchwork wall paper next to my bed/on closet doors to give some colours as I can't repaint my room walls as the apartment has been recently renovated. No pets allowed as well..A pet makes such a difference in a home.

I love diy and wished I was more skilled with my hands and do carpentry/sewing/knitting. It looks like fun to be able to alter your furnitures or improve them. I also think so far the best home decor are scandivian or swedish/finnish, from what I have seen so far. Houses have a more personal touch than the american ones where you get mass produced furnitures or look alike styles.

The good side where I am moving is that there is an ethnic supermarket right across the street. Hopefully its prices will be as competitive as those in the Chinese stores which will avoid me to have to do a longer trip. I need my asian food as well!

Work is exhausting and I am becoming more self conscious and obsessive. I always used to think working in a contact centre was easy but now I realize it is not especially if you are on an ER line, and struggling to understand and be understood. Each time a caller does not understand me, I feel very self conscious as if something is wrong with my english or if I miss information it sucks even more. I know I pronounce some words differently and I am working on some issues but I'm always worried that I am not at the required level. The lack of feedback worries me as well. I think too much as a co worker pointed out and the key to surviving in this job is not to take things personally whether from colleagues or callers. I need to stop focusing on myself and ditched my insecurity.

It sucks to work shifts though. I do 2 week-end on four which is fair however I am losing track of time..It feels weird as I no longer know which day is which and doping myself on caffeine..Needless to say my skin is becoming worse esp now with winter.

I will survive, I have too since now I am renting :( i also failed at my fastfood ban..will need to be serious about it once I move out and the grocery store is within walking distance unlike here.

cartes sur table

Following blogs like give me back my five bucks and the everyday minimalist motivates me to be more savvy and organized. I hope it is not a fad of mine. yesterday I decided to be honest with myself and my skin care clutter. I counted-all used:

-5 opened shampoo bottles (i use them according to my moods, some more than others or not at all) +2 conditioners

-5-6 face masks (it was 8..2 i'm done using, they were lush fresh face mask)

-5 face creams

-4 face cleansers

-1 exfoliant and my expensive clarisonic brush that I have not used for 3 weeks now..

-3 different soaps

-4 kind of skin oil: argan, camellia, jojoba, ylang ylang in a base oil

-1 concealer undereye

-1 eye cream

-8 lips balm

-4 acne fighting cream

-3 toners but i am using only one

-4 body creams

-4 lush massage bars which i use as body moisturisers/creams

I will spare you the numbers for my perfume-which i no longer wear as much-, and lip glosses.

It made me wonder if I am really ONE entity. For sure I am on my quest for the holy grail skin care that will help me for my oily-break out prone skin but do I even need that MANY skin care products. Lately I've been trying the oil cleansing method . I switched sunflower oil for jojoba and noted an improvement and then suddenly my blackhead came back. I guess it's due to stress and lack of sleep. I've been trying to put the least amount of shit on my face

am: jojoba oil+nuxe anti-perfections cream to mattify+concealer

pm: face oil (any of the above) with neem/tea tree oil alternated with lancome blanc expert face cream (crossing fingers it'll help lighten my past acne scars)

treatment: mario badescu drying cream (love it!!), buffering lotion, lush tea tree toner, bp sometimes

what has been gathering dust and I feel guilty about: decleor ylang ylang baume de nuit, mario badescu buttermilk moisturiser, oil of olay classic (from uk and much better than its american counterpart-mine is 80% used), lancome blanc expert line travel size set, nuxe exfoliating cream, epidermx ii, fruit and passion carrot body cream, dreamcream from lush, body shop blueberries body cream and god knows..and believe me these products are not cheap>20 cnd each except for the oil of olay.

I don't know what to do with all that skin care. I've made a simple rule which is to buy only when finished instead of stocking over as from now and it helps me use my shampoo and not buy any until the bottle is f*cking empty!! I used to stock on stuffs I like and then along the way, my taste changed or I got bored of the scent and ended up with things I am not using. Being an impulsive shopper is terrible for the wallet.

At least with us renting I'll be forced to control my expenses. Like my parents and Jguy said, I've no notion of the value of money because I spend it as I want and live on my paycheck..Time to grow up now and save since the place we'll be renting + transport will eat up 1/2 of my monthly paycheck :/ i want to cry but at least i'll buy when i need than want and then end up having to find ways to get rid of my clutter..Even selling is hard nowadays :/

I want to do as Give me back my five bucks: list all my expenses but then I feel so exposed doing that..Maybe the guilt will help me control my purchases impulse esp that I'm an emotional buyer *face palm

condo hunting

We went visiting condos today and unfortunately did not find one that suit all three of us. My cousin needs one with a locker as apparently the one in her current condo is full..which left me wondering. Me and my brother have stuffs too so she better gives us some space in the locker..the woes of sharing. I'm tired and started packing. I came to the conclusion that I have too many books..Selling is such a pain especially in a time where people are not buying :/

Just cleaned the bathroom and it made me realize how much chemicals we use. I am picky and most probably not the best room mate to have around if you're more relaxed. When I get nervous I can vacuum everyday and carpet floor make me more nervous. I hate carpet with passion esp since living in a house full of it and where people don't clean regularly. carpet should be the home owner worse nightmare: it collects stains, dust, mites, and is not water-cleaning friendly. Just to see the thick layer of dust in a room supposedly closed (hence less exposed to outside dust) makes me shiver. I wonder if it's not those home full of carpets and closed windows that result in so many Canadians suffering from allergies because they breathe in and out air full of fibers, dust mites, house hold cleaners chemicals etc.. as air does not circulate in houses where windows are rarely opened. In summer, the house is closed with air con and in winter for the heater :O

Gap also had sales today and the line up took the whole store. I'm returning two sweatshirts tomorrow as one is tight and the other the colour does not look good on me. My wardrobe has become monochrome..It's full of shades of gray and brown. I'm still an earth colour person but it seems I've become fond of gray lately *shrug*

More condos visit planned for the 4th December. Let's cross fingers we get something fast and move in by beginning of Jan!

condo hunting: It's a real pain in the ass...

news

I've been cruising craig list and kijii lately to look for furnitures. At worse I'll have to buy BN from ikea. My mattress will definitely be BN as there's no way I'm going to sleep on a used mattress esp with all those news about bed bugs etc. So my main priority is a twin bed frame and mattress. I'll see later for a desk. We'll start visiting condos this week-end and move out by 01/15/2010 due to my shifts. Let's cross fingers.

I'm bracing myself for tonight. I work up to 22:00 and I usually come home at 23:15. Now the smarty pants I am, traded my 14:00 shift with my colleague for 7am on Friday..which means I have to leave the house at 5:30 am...Oh C you're so SMART. I'll have barely 6 hours of sleep ...I did not realise that until I made the request. I usually prefer day shifts because you get more calls and time flies. I'm amongst those who need to keep doing stuffs in order to be happy..watching time goes by bores me. My aunt says it's up to me to find things to do but how much can you entertain yourself when it's a dead day? Yesterday was CRAZY and I was like yipiieeeee as usually it's slower during afternoon and night hours..For once I did not see time pass by. Let's hope it'll be the same today.

This week-end I'm listing all my books on kijii as shipping cost too much. If it's not selling by the time I move out, everything will go to the Salvation Army. I need to declutter as I won't have space to bring all my current and uni stuffs to the condo. I guess I;ll even have to sell for low prices..Better a few dollars than none..

exhausted

going on a 1 month fast food ban. i'm eating too much sodium,sugar and fat..not to mention it costs more..

need to do pilates..back pain is starting to kill me and no way am i going to see the chiro..too expensive

moving out date goal: 01/30/2011

a good excuse to clean up and declutter

thoughts

The night sky in Mississauga is too full of planes- I choose to believe that they are stars...

the last dandelions of the season

Do you call that the winter blues? I miss Montreal-roaming in the streets without any destination in mind like a bohemian, feeling the crowd, tasting the different atmosphere. Mississauga is too sad, maybe that's why I try to spend as much time as I can outside although winter does not help. I need to feel the flow of the city, its heartbeat, the crowd. It makes me feel less lonely. If things work out, we are moving out in Feb. Let's cross fingers, I need change.

Being human is a weird thing, we are rarely satisfied with what we have, one funny example is how people I know from Montreal wants to move to Toronto, while some in Toronto like me, want to move to Montreal. If there was a city with the culture/history of Montreal but the money/modernity of Toronto it would have been perfect..Maybe Paris is the city for me :P An amalgam of the old and new "ou chaque rue nous reserve des surprises".

Winter is there..Each morning houses are "dusted" with snow and a few days ago, the frost killed a few plants. I can't wait for the first snow fall. Then I'll rush outside in my black coat and take pictures of snow flakes against the dark fabric hoping to see at least one whole flake.

snow on the roof

Snow brings back fond and sad memories: My first year on university residence at Annsley where I was gazing at the icicles on the naked tree outside my window. At one point, they shone like diamonds. There was a squirrel nest on the same tree inhabited by mama and papa squirrel. The sound my my boots crushing the snow in Queen Park as I went back to my apartment. The warmth of the yellow streetlight as snow fell and the quietness of the park. I miss that. I do hope we have a bad winter because I want snow. hah!

I've been feeling nostalgic and lonely lately. Call that winter blues and an overdose of watching old disney movies...I want to cuddle in a sofa with some warm coffee and watch snow fall outside. I also want to have a nice conversation with interesting people.

la vie continue

encrypted

Going back to Toronto

Yesterday we had a great weather in Montreal..great compared to the past days and I managed to go to L'Oratoire de St Joseph, and stroll on Ste Catherine street. I also had dinner at R place and they're such amazing people. I love R, she's like oxygen: a few minutes in her company, you're like someone who got a "Don't worry Be happy" injection. Seriously she's one of those people who make a difference in a crowd, in the world.Thanks R!

I left around 12:15 although I wanted to to stay longer and talk more. Time in good company flies..too fast! It was really nice to listen to her and simon and it made me think of the convos I used to have with W back in University. We used to chat and chat until 3 am about everything and nothing. It's so rare that I have an interesting conversation with a human being nowadays.

I miss all that. I understand times goes on on, people move on and I do miss the good times including my good friends back home like J.

montreal

More rain! In the end, I came to Montreal to go back with a carry on full of books! I went to the Salvation Army on Rue Notre Dame and wow, this salvation army store reduces the ones in Toronto to shame.It's huge. I managed to find a few french books from the 1937-literature books which my mother used to study in highschool- good enough to be altered. 5 books came to 5 dollars! So cheap considering that the store in Toronto charges 2.99 for hard covers whether its old or new. The store was full of other junk and they had dial phones but only in cream-no funky colours :/ I wanted to buy some webster encyclopaedias as well but could not carry them. Already my feet were hurting me when walking :/ Dr Martens with 14 eyelets: no good for long walks. I should have brought my reebok but reebok in winter :/

I want to go back to the Salvation Army again!

I also went to this cute store Le Presbeytere and bought a cute towel hanger, vintage look with porcelain at the end-perfect for a vintage looking bathroom. Really cute!!! and a dish towel. Expensive but so cutteee. The owner was how everything is imported from France. It's such a cute shop, makes me think of the times of Marcel Pagnol where they had washing bin and jugs in the bathroom. I also saw a lamp made from a milk tin pail but how to carry! That was in an antique shop. So cute...

montreal

So I am in Montreal and guess what? The weather sucks..Well I was not expecting more since it is in November. I say sucks because according to the weather report, it'll be sunny on Sunday and guess where I'll be on Sunday? In the bus on the way BACK to Toronto. hah else the bus ride was ok so I guess I'll take the bus from now on, cheaper and asa comfortable as the train despite a longer ride. I do hope to max those three days to see around and test the ground before deciding whether I should live there in the future. It should be fun.