Tuesday, May 31, 2011


oh holy mattress, where are thou? migraine again, on my day off. Looking forward to:

-getting my thick and comfy mattress
-facial at pure and simple (breaking out again)
-my approved holidays (please don't disappoint me)
-try to meet C next week

Keane "somewhere we belong" is stuck in my head.."oh simple things..where have you gone.. i'm getting older and need something to rely on..".. yeah i'm getting old and exhausted at .. 30 *glup* years old.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

trip to china

My trip to China is slowly taking shape and I am crossing fingers for my vacation to be approved-will know next wednesday- and get an affordable quotation from the agent in China. So far the itinerary includes Tian Jin where my brother's wedding will take place, Chendghu-to go to Leshan Mt and Buddha, Mount Emei and Huanglong-Jiuzhaigou and Datong-hanging monastery and Yungang grottos.

So far the pictures I have seen are really nice and lots of hiking and nature which is something I really need. Once my vacations are confirmed and the trip, I'm planning to purchase either a Teva Omnium or Keen hiking sandals. I tried the keen whisper model today and it was so comfortable. They have a soft-flexible heel as my Arcpro birkinstock sandals and are closed but with mesh adding more protection to the foot. The sole also looks good enough not to slip. I do love my Arcpro but need something that is closed. I'm also thinking of travelling light, that is not bring a suitcase. I'm not planning to buy much in china, maybe tea and souvenirs and don't want to carry a 23 kilos suitcase from train to bus to train to airplane.

I'm also saving to buy a zoom lens for my canon dslr. will get a third party one: Tamron since I can't afford a canon one. I'm not good enough to handle pro lenses anyway. woohoo let's hope next week will be a good week. My brother is also coming back on the 4th. June.

Friday, May 20, 2011

why i love french language

Quatre mots sur un piano, ceux qu'elle a laissés
Quatre c'est autant de trop, je sais compter
Quatre vents sur un passé, mes rêves envolés
Mais qu'aurait donc cet autre que je n'ai ?
Ne le saurai-je jamais

Cas très banal, cliché, dénouement funeste
Trois moins deux qui s'en vont, ça fait moi qui reste
Caresses, égards et baisers, je n'ai pas su faire
La partager me soufflait Lucifer
Depuis je rêve d'enfer

Moi j'aurais tout fait pour elle, pour un simple mot
Que lui donne l'autre que je n'offrirais ?
Elle était mon vent mes ailes, ma vie en plus beau
Etait-elle trop belle ou suis-je trop sot ?
N'aime-t-on jamais assez ?
Quatre années belles à pleurer, maigre résumé
Cartes jouées mais la reine s'est cachée
Quatre millions de silences, de regrets qui dansent
Les questions, les soupirs et les sentences
Je préférais ses absences

Moi j'aurais tant fait pour elle, pour boire à son eau
Que lui donne l'autre que je n'offrirais ?
Elle était mon vent mes ailes, ma vie en plus beau
Mais était-elle trop belle, ou bien nous trop sots ?
N'aime-t-on jamais assez

Vous étiez ma vie comme la nuit et le jour
Vous deux, nouez, filiez mon parfait amour
Un matin vous m'avez condamnée à choisir
Je ne vous aimais qu'à deux
Je vous laisse, adieu
Choisir serait nous trahir

Mais qu'aurait donc cet autre que je n'ai ?
Ne le saurai-je jamais ?
La partager me soufflait Lucifer
Depuis je rêve d'enfer

written by jean jacques goldman and sung with patrick fiori. goldman is such a poet

and one that means a lot to me. written by goldman and sung by pagni and natacha stpier

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

song of the lonely duck

It seems that each time I am off work, it's to be down with migraine..

I went to High Park to see the sakuras and spotted 1 swan, 3 cardinals, 2 chipmunks, lots red wing blackbirds and their females, canadian gooses, some ducks and too many homo sapiens. ugh..

I thought I would escape the week-end crowd by going during the week: WRONG. If it's not the locals, it's the tourists and weirdly it was asian nation in high park last Tuesday :/ I'm Asian as well but one thing that irked me was how noisy these people are in general. Here you are: walking quietly along a path, savouring the silence and the wind in the trees, then BANG..this peaceful picture is shattered as a group of 4 people walked by talking loudly in their language (I came to accept that talking loudly is part of the chinese culture but jeezzz...) 3 times I missed taking pictures of birds as some loud person passed by causing my photo subject to fly away. One woman was yelling at a swan :hello hello... then byeeeeeeee... *roll eyes*

The sakuras were beautiful and this couple too:

My point and shoot camera batteries died on me and I managed to play with my dsl although my pictures were not that great-colors are off on my macbook pro- and I forgot the user manual at home. Hehehe

My favourite spot was next to the lonely goose: less people although too close to the highway. I definitely need to go back in the incoming week. I assume once the sakuras blooms have fallen, less people will be there.

Another park I want to visit is Rouge Park although it's 2 hours by bus from where I am and much bigger than Highpark. Let's hope I won't get lost. I felt energized after 3 hours in High Park. My mind had a deserved rest from the street noise, appliances buzz etc in the condo. I need to find closer parks though..maybe the Meadowvale conservation area???

Jeez my head hurts..Started exercising again which is good to get rid of tension caused by stress. 7 days of rain in Mississauga. How interesting.

I <3 my kindle and my cheese order from L'Abbaye St Benoit. So delicious! I got my order within 2 days and I love their St Augustin cheese. Maybe I should order a whole cheese...I should live in Quebec..seriously..their bread, cheese, pate and charcuterie are above those in Toronto-Mississauga..

Saturday, May 7, 2011

next week goal

sneak to high park to watch sakuras in bloom. i finally found the name of the bird that was puzzling me: red-winged backbird . it's such a beauty :) hope to spot some chipmunks as well since high park is the only place where i saw them back in my uni years.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

spring is in the air

Nothing can compare to the smell of spring: the air is cool, with a small breeze, it smells "new". Trees budding, new birds appearing and never mind the worms everywhere. At least it shows that the soil is healthy. So many people underestimate the work of those little guys-I know they look gross-.

I'm in the middle of reading "The God delusion" and "Misquoting Jesus" and it's really interesting.

I'm learning quite a few interesting things like Jesus was a Jewish teacher as per the scriptures (pardon my ignorance if this is universal knowledge), the word apologia was once used as "in defence of" compared to its modern meaning which is the very opposite since we use it to say I am sorry, possible confusion about the interpretation of the word"virgin" standing for young maid hence the possible confusion about virgin Mary, that Islam-Judaism-Christianity all stem from Abraham and the issues of the scriptures etc... and of course the ever long debate about God's omniscience and omnipotence.

Kindle is quickly becoming my new best friend. It does lack some features but it's a relief not to have to carry a heavy book everywhere and to get lots of free ebooks online. I've been doing more reading in the past days than since I came to Canada. *does happy dance* Can't wait to download biology text books especially my favourite one on botany by Raven.

People always fail

Lesson learned. Next time i need to have my tax returns done, i'll use those kiosks in the mall than friend of my relative who says she will drop by but does not, and call but did not. I do understand things happen but it won't kill to let me know instead of letting me wait for nothing.

And the other bitch talking as it's because of me that she is dropping by-which she never did and i never ask. I don't need this privilege even less if that person cannot advise when somerhing comes up. I was the one suggesting I move to meet her.

Shit then no one understands why I don't like to rely on people.

ok I'm calmer now. Flakers make me think of a specific someone and it gets so much on my nerves *argh

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

can't even cut it's summer. ha ha ha

i'm cranky today *throw fist at the world

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


by Tangled..and buying the dvd..something VERY rare for me when it comes to movies. Waiting for the Winnie the Pooh movie as well. I'm still a kid at heart and miss classic disney. Glee last week was sweet: loved unpretty by Rachel & Quin and Somewhere Only We belong. I am embarrassed to say that I discover songs through Glee as I've stopped watching TV and listening to the radio (except to wake up but it's on the classic music channel. Honestly who wants to wake up with some teeny bopper screaming. Last time I woke up with "Lakme flowers duet" and it was OMG so delicious *sigh*)

I'm also addicted to keane now. Makes me think of a mix of radiohead (less depressing) and Muse. Must be the british accent?

I feel melancholic, not in depressing way, just some kind of longing for something I don't know..
When I watch the night lights of distant houses/condos, I wonder if the people out there, is someone loving them, thinking of them? My hand against the cold glass, my eyes lost in the dark.

I've always been attracted to house's light like moths to flames. I like gazing at house windows as the bus passes when I have night shifts. I am happy when I see people's silhouettes. It's not voyeurism as honestly I don't give a damn about spying on people, it's just the thought of knowing there's someone there or something.. As usual my words are failing me as I am unable to communicate my thoughts accurately.

Maybe I just feel lonely although I know living with too many people is draining as well. I enjoy people: listening to them, "feel" them, observe them but interacting is altogether another story..